♥ Monday, February 21, 2011
Its Monday again. DRATS! Like what i mentioned on sat, I went to PH that night. before that, SH&myself had dinner at Vivo. We had fastfood again.. Carl's JR. Karl came to join us as he reached early. We went to get the chop early cos we didnt want to queue up at the later part. Waited for Chanel&Kane to reach, den they ordered 2 bottles of Johnny Walker as it was before 10pm they were able to get de 1for1 promo. so in total there were 4 bottles. the guys started playing games and started drinking. Felt damn sian cos i cant drink or dance. but at least i didnt just stayed home lah.
Felt kindda disappointed cos SH left me alone and kept disappearing. but i didnt want to spoil his fun thus i didnt say much also. But somehow i damn scared that i will find him dancin with another girl lo. Its not that i dun trust him, but i do have a phobia. esp 2 years ago. when he celebrated his 21st at PH and den he danced with another girl infront of me. He didnt touch her lah, but she was like touchin him lo. of cos i wouldnt want another girl to touch him wad. HE'S MINE! and YES! IM POSSESSIVE! Dun wanna share my things(which includes my hus).
But i kept tellin myself he wont do it already.. I have to trust him again, if not how can he trust me right ? ( Cos i ever cheated on him ) call me slut or wadeva but ya, i know my mistake. and so, i hope he enjoyed his night.. i left about 2.45am and headed home first cos i didnt want to get scolded by his parents for being home late. and so, I kept telling myself, my hus is wise he wont dui bu qi me again. and with those words in my head i left him with his frens and head home on my own. ( I feel damn proud of myself ok?! )
And yes, de best part.. As i was damn tired, I went home bathed and went straight to bed without realising SH doesnt have the hse key with him. HAHAHA!! and my poor boy was stuck outside the hse for 30mins before i finally woke up and picked up de call. He came home and den bathed and joined me in bed. He cuddled me to bed and before long we were sleepin already.
We woke up about 1pm and headed downstairs for Lunch. After lunch, nua around before heading to Jason's for MJ session again. Bought 1 pint of Swensen's ice cream which i had left it at his place and den Wendy's for our dinner. MJ till 10pm before we headed home. bought mac while we were drivin back. watched a chi movie which was seriously damn lame till i fell asleep, was awaken when SH took off my spects for me. Sometimes, its such little gestures of him that makes me really love him alot.
I guess he is some1 i had already entrusted my life with, thou nowadaes i keep tryin to keep myself on guards :x Eg. I will like tell myself he may change into a very mean hus in future and to prevent myself from being sooo hurt i must not love/depend on him alot. Fuck up. but im just afraid. i dun wanna lose him, but after growin up from a broken family and seeing men changin after a certain no. of Married years. IM SCARED and im just tryin to PROTECT my FRAGILE self. ohwell, its better to play safe den sorry. okie lah! im not gonna continue such a emo emo post.
On a happy note, BBTai finally turns 7 mths old. I have been carryin this lil boy of mine for 7mths! time pass damn fast. and soon enough i will be in de delivery room screamin as thou im dying. HAHA! but im sure most important of all is that, I want my lil boy to be healthy when he is born (: and that it will be a safe delivery for both myself and my lil boy. HE MEANS THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD TO ME. and nth is gonna change that fact (:
Loved ♥